Angel Lost
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: Jenny's memories threaten to interfere with a special occasion. Established Jibbs. No relation to Only In My Dreams universe stories.


"Jen, have you seen my..."Gibbs came out of the bathroom halfway through tying his tie, but stopped when he saw his wife sitting on the edge of their bed, staring out the window. He frowned. "Honey, you're not even dressed yet."

Jenny turned slightly, enough so Gibbs could see the grief that lay heavy in her eyes. He stopped what he was doing and went to her, taking her hand in his and brushing his thumb down her cheek.

"What is it?" he asked tenderly.

The smile barely touched her lips. "She would've been twenty-one today."

Gibbs' eyes clouded. "Oh Jen."

She shook her head, tears threatening to come. "Seventeen was too young Jethro, too young for it to end in a graveyard."

"Sweetheart," he made Jenny look at him. "You have to remember that we had Taryn for seventeen wonderful years. We got to watch her grow into a young lady, go on her first date, get her driver's license. I'm so thankful for how much of her life we got to see."

Jenny's fingers clenched into fists. "But we should've gone to her wedding Jethro!"

Gibbs wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her hair. "I know Jen."

Her head moved back and forth. "I never understood what you went through when Kelly died until we lost Taryn. But I only bear the burden of one child, it's not fair that you had to lose two."

"I'd be angrier, I think," Gibbs said slowly, choking on the memory of two daughters gone too soon, "if it had been an accident that she died in, or if someone had killed her. Then there would be someone to hate, someone to blame." He shook his head. "But the leukemia Jen...it just happened. Nothing could've prevented it. And Taryn fought it like a hero. I was so proud of her strength."

Jenny fingered the buttons on his shirt. "She got that from you."

Gibbs pulled back to wipe away the last of her tears. His wife's grief came in stages of loss, triggered by events. His deep sadness and how much he missed his beautiful daughter was like a slow burn, a deep ache that never quite went away.

"No Jen," he said softly, gazing lovingly into her eyes. "She took after her mom."

Jenny leaned into him then, seeking the reassurance and comfort found in her husband's kiss. They broke apart as running footsteps were heard on the stairs. Their sunshine rounded the corner and pranced into the room, her long brown hair already in a tight French braid, the pink dress bought special for this day floating gracefully around her as she twirled. But Tristan's smile faded when she saw Jenny's face.

The twelve year old tilted her head to one side. "Mom, what's wrong?"

Jenny shook her head, offering her youngest daughter a smile. "I'm fine honey. Dad and I were just talking."

Tristan frowned. "You're not fine. You were thinking about Taryn again."

Jenny looked at her quizzically. "How do you know?"

The girl gave her mother a knowing look that was a reflection of her father's expression. "Because I know Mom, it's in your eyes. Plus, you were crying," she shrugged. "It's kind of a dead giveaway."

"Today brings up lots of memories Tris," Gibbs put in, but his wise girl already had a solution.

She met her mom's eyes. "You know if Taryn were here she'd be telling a joke or pulling some silly stunt to make you laugh. Even when she was in the hospital she wanted people to be happy." Tristan grinned, remembering her adored older sister.

"Like that sign she made Aunt Abby put up on her hospital room door - 'Sadness must be left outside. Only happy thoughts allowed in here'. Or how she got Uncle Tim to rig up a motion sensor in the bathroom that made the speakers play 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' every time someone went in."

Jenny smiled. Her oldest daughter had strived for joy every day of her short life. That was the emptiness she felt now without Taryn.

"See?" Tristan pointed out. "Remembering Taryn should make you happy." She put one hand on her hip. "Now hurry up and get ready. Aunt Ziva and Uncle Tony will kill us if we're late for Travis' wedding."

Jenny stood and hugged her daughter. She was growing up more every day. "I love you Tris."

"Love you too Mom," the girl responded.

Jenny looked at her husband. "I'll be ready in twenty minutes."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Now where have I heard that before?"

"Come on Dad," Tristan held out her hand. "Let's go for a walk."

"Don't get dirty," Jenny reminded them as they disappeared down the stairs.

Quickly she dressed and did her make-up, a smile stealing over her face. Surrounded by her family, with a loving husband and sweet daughter by her side, and the memory of Taryn in their hearts, Jenny knew today was going to be a happy day. Sometimes she just needed to be reminded.

THE END


End file.
